Le mystère a résolu

The French have always fascinated their European counterparts. For decades, they have viewed as the most stylish, the best smelling, and the most ferociously committed gourmands on the planet. How can they afford so much time to eat? To cook? But how do they do it? It was on a recent visit to Paris that I worked it all out. The answer lies in the country's insistence on a 35-hour week, no more, no less. While the rest of the World works relentlessly at dead-end jobs they hate to buy shit they don't need, the French put in as few hours as possible so they can loaf about in smart cafes and temples of gastronomy scoffing incredible food with real 'terroir' , drinking champoo, smoking thin cigarettes and discussing the merits of the new Gucci camel-skin driving shoe.

That's it: I'm cutting fucking right back on my hours. That should do the trick.